She hears through the filter of Autism
What’s interesting is I always thought that the emotional outburst were just her being emotional. As the days past I realize more and more that her state of mind is vulnerable and she’s constantly struggling to grasp understanding of intention, expressions and words spoken. As I attempt to understand her point of view, it’s clear to me that her interaction with the world around her is exhausting for her. …What is exhausting for her is taxing for me .
Simple conversations turn into volatile ones with the misinterpretation of a single phrase. Ebony flow’s turn into Rocky River’s with the misunderstanding of one word. This often happens quicker than you can grab a life jacket. A conversation that started as smalltalk just became confusing for her and a challenge for me. …3 hours & 28 minutes later she is still asking the same 2 questions to gain understanding about the phrase misunderstood and I am bewilder and exhausted….wondering should I choose my words more carefully or just not talk at all.
After several moments of silence, I think about how confusing and frustrating smalltalk must be for her. She hears conversations through the filter of Autism. And her relentless curiosity and desire to understand is innocent, genuine and authentic. After moments of reflection I realize that I haven’t been gypped by the filter of Autism but challenged by it.
And the conversation continues…
JustUs & Autism